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"Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."   

Nobody notices what I do, until I don’t do it.   A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back! 
-- Jerry Dennis
 
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.   “A drunk mans words are a sober man's thoughts.”
--Steve Fergosi
 

To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”
--Homer Simpson
  

  Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. 
Dick Van Dyke
 

Trying is just the first step toward failure. 
- Homer Simpson
  

  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
- Clarence Darrow
  

  Virginity is like bubble: one prick, all gone!   

Children in the backseat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause children   An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body. ~ Jim Hayes


Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

The most wasted of all days is that in which we have not laughed.
Sébastien Roch Nicolas

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. 

Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. 
Albert Einstein
  

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"  
Homer J Simpson   

  5 Joy to the World. M.D House. Whitney: Aren't there other ways I could get pregnant, like... sitting on a toilet seat? House: Absolutely. There would need to be a guy sitting between you and the toilet seat, but yes, absolutely.
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šie ir labi! + no manis! :)
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haaaaaa... ar Homēra izteicieniem varētu veselu enciklopēdiju izdot emotion
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