I secretly give a 10% discount to unsuspecting senior citizen customers.
I cut off my long beautiful hair after I had an abortion 11 years ago. I've finally forgiven myself enough.. to let it grow back.
I am a pacifist, but I work for a company that makes parts for bombs because it pays 12$ an hour.
I'm glad you're in PRISON. And that I put you there.
Momma and I used to be best friends. We haven't said ''I love you'' to each other in 14 years. I can't seem to.
Happy Valentine's Day! I don't fuck so good...
I told my depressed ex-girlfriend that I didn't care anymore.. that she might as well jump off a bridge. And she did.
My wife says that sometimes I act more immature than out 16 years old son... She's probably right.
Yesterday I found out I will never be able to have kids of my own.
2 years ago... I rolled my car. You stopped to help. I don't remember your name. I don't remember much about that day. All I know is that you drive an 18-wheeler. THANK YOU! (I'm about to graduate from college.)
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