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Gone2

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I say I'm not angry

I'm not

I'm drowning inside

I see your relief, I feel sick

Does this disappointed smile truly

deceive you?


Your rejection that night

On the wet grass, under the bright stars

I prepared, hoped the best, when you said

"we need to talk"

Instead, I lost a friend

Jesus, it's the same rejection every time

you left, and I drowned

my clothes in the dew

My bare feet freezing, my soul crying


-----

Friendship

What a joyous, unknown feeling

While the thought may have crossed my lips once

Turns out friendship betrays more deeply than love

-----


All these so-called friends

Peeling away, throughout my life

This state, this level of self-worth

It chains me

Rejection

You should know-- you said you felt the same.

So when I say I'm not mad

You of all people should recognize….

I'm drowning! I feel sad…


----


You told me too much? Trusted me? Didn't deserve my presence?

How does an attitude like this get the upperhand in a friendship?


I hung onto your every word

To hear you laugh

Witness your rare smiles

I thought I could help you….. if I could only walk that extra mile


The horrors you shared,

your family's indifference

All contributors to your numbness.

It hurt to hear

Your insistent denial

of your own beautiful existence


You deny love

You deny help

And you deny friends

Or was that just me?


I wanted to know you!

That's why I listened

why I didn't judge


Or so I thought…


Because when you walked me outside

on the wet grass, under the bright stars?

You said the connection was gone.

GONE. GONE.

GONE.

I guess I went too far.

………………….


That night, I learned how deep a fling friendship could cut...

I guess this is karma, a learning experience.

But what life lesson did I pick up?


I rekindle the fire/you blow it out.

Third time's the charm.


I've figured it out.


Please, just prove me wrong!

I keep hoping you'll call.

More likely? I'll be left here to drown.


GONE.

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