"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet" Robin Williams
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfield
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” Brooke Shields, Actress
“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” Christina Aguilera, Singer/Entertainer
“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” Britney Spears, Singer/Entertainer
“I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.” Paris Hilton, Socialite
“Facts are stupid things.” Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President
“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman” Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Governer/Actor
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.” Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” Mariah Carey, Singer/Entertainer
