Piedodiet tie kas nesaprot anglu valodu ka netulkoju bet sita tiesam ir labak!
Nu tad enjoy! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA un Potera fani neapvainojieties ar so nekas aizvainojos netika domats ka neka es pats esmu fans
Announcer: Finally, the most anticipated film of the year….Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer’s Stoned.
Scene: Washroom at a train station. Harry and Ron are squeezed inside a cubicle toking on a fat one. Tons of greenish smoke billows from atop the stall.
Ron: Man, how much did you score?
Harry Potter: 9 and ¾’s.
Ron looks at Harry perplexed.
Harry Potter: My dealer’s cat got into the bag.
Ron: Oooh…cool.
Harry Potter: Yeah, man. This will last us for like…like…a really long time.
Ron: Excellent.
Train Station Announcer: Last call for Hogwart’s. Hogwart’s…last call.
Harry Potter: Hey, man. Aren’t we supposed to be on that train?
Ron: Oh…yeah. I guess we should go.
Harry Potter: Yeah, but let’s finish this first.
Ron: Excellent. Man, I can’t believe my mom’s sending me to rehab.
Harry Potter: Duuuuuuuuude! We’re disenfranchised British adolescents forced to survive in an archaic monarchal society that worships youth but thwarts our efforts to facilitate change and to implement a more socialist political-economic structure…
Ron looks at Harry with utter fascination.
Harry Potter: (takes a big toke and delivers line through exhaling)…and we got drug problems.
Ron: Wow, Harry! That’s heavy. You think there’ll be chicks there?
Harry Potter: Oh, yeah. Rehab chicks love to party. Let’s go, dude.
Harry and Ron flush the roach and stumble out of the cubicle. Two identical trunks on separate trolly’s. Harry and Ron look at each other and shrug.
Ron: Man, you better hide your stash.
Harry Potter: Good idea.
Harry and Ron look around trying to figure out where to unload his pot.Harry spies the washroom towel dispenser, one of those revolving cloth roll down types.
Harry Potter: Dude, give me a hand.
Ron and Harry tug and unravel the towel and pull it out of it’s container with much effort and fumbling and falling over each other. Harry puts his huge bag of pot in the center and rolls it up and stuff it in the front of his trunk carrier. In a drugged haze, the towel could be mistaken for a huge snowy owl. The boys admire their handy work.
Harry Potter: Excellent. Okay, man. Let’s do the same to yours so they don’t get suspicious.
Dissolve
Scene: Ron and Harry racing through the train station pushing their trunks, weaving back and forth. They stumble upon the customs officer.
Customs Officer: (looking suspicious) Anything to declare?
Harry Potter: Yes! I am a disenfranchised British adolescent forced to survive in a…..
Customs Officer: Yeah, okay, okay….whatever. (Pointing to the towels stuffed in front of the trunk) What’s that?
Ron and Harry look at each other in horror.
Harry Potter: (stammering) It’s a…a..attt…OWEL.
Customs Officer: It’s an owl?
Harry Potter: No…it’s a….yeah.
Ron: (interrupting) Sir, how do we get to this platform.
Customs Officer: (pointing in the direction of a brick wall) Through there.
Ron and Harry look in the direction of his finger and see the wall. They look at each other perplexed.
Ron and Harry Potter: Huh?
Customs Officer: (loosing patience) Through there?
Harry Potter: (to Customs Officer) Okay, dude. Relax. Thanks.
Ron and Harry push past the Customs Officer and head toward the brick wall. They get a few feet away and stop, looking at each other in stoned confusion.
Harry Potter: I don’t know, dude. Take a run for it.
Ron: You do it!
Harry Potter: No, man. You do it!
Ron: No, you.
Harry Potter: It’s like Nike, man…JUST DO IT!
Train Announcer: All aboard for Hogwart!
Harry Potter: C’mon, man. We’re gonna miss our ride.
Ron gets behind his cart and runs toward the wall, slamming into it andfalling backwards, smacking his head on the platform and passing out. Harry walks over to the wall, looks at his friend and then pats the wall with the flat of his hand.
Harry Potter: Dude! It’s a wall. What were you thinking?
Harry goes to lean back against the wall, misjudges and falls backwards, smacking his head on the platform.
Harry Potter: (just before passing out) Wicked.
We see both of them lying there are passersby walk along, stop briefly to look at them and then move along.
Scene: At Hogwart. Ron and Harry are in class with big bandages on their heads. They are still stoned and seated at desk with a baton and a feather. Hermione sits beside Ron regarding him with a certain amount of disgust. Harry leans into Ron’s ear.
Harry Potter: How did we get here?
Ron: (to Harry) Beats me, man. (to Hermione) So, do you party?
Hermione: Shhh. I am trying to learn something.
Ron: Whoa! Chill, babe.
Hermione: You know, some of us are interested in learning weights and measures and testing the different theories that have been put forth in order to……..(garble, garble, garble).
Ron looks closely at Hermione whose face becomes distorted and words become gibberish mumbo jumbo. He stares at her with confused fascination.
Ron: Wow! Are you speaking English? Or is that some kind of Anne Heche, extraterrestrial, voodoo language?
Hermione looks perplexed.
Ron: You…like…totally need to take it down a few notches, babe. Here, take this.
Ron hands Hermione a tin foil packet which she opens.
Hermione: What is this?
Ron: Um….jellybeans, man.
Hermione: They don’t look like jellybeans.
Ron: Yeah, their like…special, magic, gourmet jellybeans.
Hermione pops them in her mouth and chews with a disgusted look on her face.
Hermione: Yuck, what flavour is this?
Ron: Um…their…like…shroom flavored, man.
The camera closes in on Hermione who suddenly feels the effect of themushrooms.
Dissolve to Hermione and Ron, laughing their asses off. Hermione has afeather sitting on her nose which she attempts to blow off her face. She is in hysterics. Harry is in the background howling. Hermione blows a hard gust of air and the feather flies and floats into the air. Harry, Ron and Hermione watch mesmerized as it floats above them.
Harry, Ron, Hermione: Wicked!
Instructor: You three! OUT!
Scene: Ron, Harry and Hermione stumble through the halls making faces and freaking each other out like in a bad 1960’s, psychedelic drub sequence.
Harry Potter: Let’s find someplace to party.
Hermione and Ron: Cool.
The three wander through the halls of Hogwart and up some stairs until they come to a locked door.
Ron: Let’s go in here.
Harry and Ron run to the door and try to open it. The door will not budge. The boys begin to throw their bodies against it.
Ron: Man, this door won’t budge.
Harry Potter: Whoa! I think I busted my shoulder, man.
Meanwhile, Hermione is laughing and sliding down the wall in herhallucinogenic stupor.
Harry lights a joint and passes it to Ron. They look at Hermione who is doubled over in laughter….pointing to the door.
Ron: What!? What’s so funny.
Hermione points and tries to speak.
Harry Potter: Man, this chick is wasted.
Hermione crooks her finger and motions for the boys to bend down to herface.
Harry and Ron look at each other and bend down to Hermione.
Hermione: (loudly) IT’S A PULL! Ha,ha.ha.
The boys lift Hermione up, pull the door open and they go inside.
Once inside, they see a large room with a miniature poodle inside tied to a leash attached to the fireplace. Suddenly the dog jumps up and begins to bark, traipsing back and forth on it’s leash. Hermione, Ron and Harry are so wasted that the dog moves in slow motion, leaving trails as it moves which gives it the appearance of having three heads.
Hermione, Ron, Harry Potter: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
The three go running from the room. The dog sits down and cocks it’s head in confusion.
Scene: Silent montage sequence at Hogwart.
1. Hermione, Ron and Harry are standing outside with a broom at each oftheir feet. The instructor is yelling at them, likely for being caughtrambling the halls totally wasted. Ron steps on his broom and it bounces up and smacks him in the face. Harry laughs hysterically. While Harry is distracted, Hermione ties his broom handle to a loose thread on his robe. When Harry lifts his arm, the broom raises as if on it’s own. We see Harry mouth the word ‘wicked.’2. Harry, Hermione and Ron are sweeping the halls and sharing a joint.Harry, who has the munchies, spies an apple on a tree just off a balcony. He reaches for the apple but cannot get it. He decides to poke it with his broom and ends up falling over the edge of the balcony. Before he plummets to the ground, his robe catches on a pillar. He is dangling from the balcony, broom in hand. He slides the broom between his legs and pretends to fly. Hermione and Ron hang over the balcony, howling and making encouraging faces.
Announcer: Yes, who doesn’t want to explore the magical, mystical world of Harry Pothead. And now a scene from the highly anticipated sequel, Harry Pothead and the Goblet of Fire.
Scene: Harry, Ron and Hermione are sitting around a bong. They each take a turn toking, laugh hysterically at each other and fall out of frame with the smouldering bong in the foreground.
End
