When Bill Clinton was president, one day he was jogging around the white house and noticed someone peed the words into the snow "Bill Clinton is an Idiot". So he gets his best detectives and the CIA involved to find out who did it. Next day the head of the CIA comes to his office and says "Sir I got some good news and some bad news" the good news is we analyzed the urine and found it was Jessie Jacksons pee, the bad news is that its Hillary's handwriting!
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Clinton stepped of from Air Force One carrying a small dog. One of his secret service men said: "Nice dog, sir."
"Thanks, " said the president. "I got it for Hillary."
"Nice trade sir."
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The Riddle
On a trip to Great Britain while he was President of
the United States, Bill Clinton had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth.
During that meeting, he asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"
"That's easy, " the Queen replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers an advisors."
"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?", asked Bill.
You ask them a riddle, " she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in."
When Blair arrived, the Queen Said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me: Your parents had a child and it was not your sister. It also was not your brother Who was this child?"
Blair replied, "That's easy. The child was me."
"Very good, " said the Queen. "You may go now."
Sizing up his wife's chances in her presidential bid, and thinking back on that meeting, Bill Clinton spoke to Hillary. He said to her, "I have a Riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child, and it was not your sister, and it was not your brother. Who was that child?"
Hillary replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer. Can I deliberate on this for awhile?"
"Yes, " said Bill, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the nswer."
So Hillary called a meeting of her campaign team, from top to bottom, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. She was quite upset, not knowing what she would tell her husband, the former President. As Hillary was leaving her meeting she ran into her most formidable challenger to her Presidential Nomination, Barack Obama.
So she said, "Mr. Obama, can you answer this riddle for me? Your parents had a child, and it was not your sister, and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"
"That's seems pretty easy, " said Obama, "I think the child would be me."
"Oh thank you, " said Hillary. "You may just have ensured my nomination for the democratic candidate for the Presidency of the United States!"
So Hillary went back to Bill and said, "I think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Barack Obama.!"
"No, you dip!" shouted Bill. "The child was Tony Blair."
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One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what
their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse,
businesswoman, Saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically
quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his mother,
he replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a
cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men
and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the
offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and
stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly
set the other children to work on some exercises and then
took little Jus tin aside to ask him, "Is that really true
about your mother?"
"No, " the boy said, "She works for the Democratic
National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton
to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to
say that in front of the other kids."
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Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question?"
"I have five questions: First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House? Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
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President Clinton meets some voters
President Clinton is shaking hands with the voters after being elected for the second time.
"Pleased to meet you, " says one old man, "I've heard a lot about you in the past few years."
Clinton laughs: "You can't prove any of it!"
