Sorrzzz ja ir bijis... Un lasat pa English gan jau sapratīsiett.. ;;D
1. Throw Jacob a stick and yell at him to fetch it.
2. When he doesn’t understand, yell at him, screaming, “What kind of dog are you anyways?”
3. Buy him a kitten for his birthday.
4. Name it Edward.
5. Tell him that he needs a haircut and take him to the pet groomers.
6. Buy him a shock collar and press the button every time he swears.
7. Ask him if he has fleas.
8. When he says no, refuse to believe him and offer to take him to the vet to get checked out.
9. Follow him around singing loud and off-key, “Who let the dogs out? Who who who who!”
10. Buy him dog treats and a chew toy for his birthday.
11. When he gets mad, cry and say that Edward would have been more grateful.
12. Ask him why he doesn’t glitter in the sun.
13. Then, when he goes to bed, sneak into his room and dump glitter glue all over him.
14. As he wakes up the next morning, open the window shade to let the sunlight in and scream, “What a miracle! Look! You’re a vampire! Look! You’re a vampire!”
15. Walk behind him for a really long time and constantly touch his butt.
16. When he asks what you’re doing, tell him you’re looking for his tail.
17. Convince him that he’s the crack child of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black because he’s a werewolf and his last name is Black.
18. Dress him up for a vampire in Halloween and go trick or treating in La Push.
19. Paint his motorcycle hot pink.
20. Put up missing dog posters with his name on them.
21. Lick his fingers and touch his chest, making a sizzling sound.
22. Ask him about Air Bud, his bff.
23. Brush his hair and then complain about his horrible shedding.
24. Walk down the street with him and be sure to avoid fire hydrants.
25. Buy him a Breaking Dawn book and force him to read Edward and Bella’s honeymoon scene.
26. When he gets mad, lean into his ear and whisper, “We could do that.”
27. Then pull away quickly and say, “Oh, right. I forgot. You’re with Seth.”
28. When he phases, steal his pants.
29. Tell him that his nakedness bothers you and that you would much rather see Edward naked.
30. Touch his forehead and freak out about how hot he is.
31. Insist you take him to a doctor.
32. Take him to Carlisle Cullen.
33. Then, the entire time, keep leaning over and whispering, “Isn’t he hot?”
34. Ask him if he’s going to Bella and Edward’s wedding.
35. When he says no, say, “Why? Don’t you have anything nice to wear?”
36. When he says he has to go to the bathroom, bring him outside and point to the ground.
37. When he asks to go back inside, shake your head and say, “No one likes a doggie who isn’t housetrained.”
38. Ask him if he knows that really cute puppy on the Charmin commercials.
39. Annoy him as much as you possibly can, and when he threatens you, tell him that Bella doesn’t like it when he gets violent.
40. When he glares at you, smile and say, “Neither would your lover Seth.”
41. When he tries to kill you, run over the boundary line and laugh at him.
42. Ask him what it is like to date a loch ness monster.
43. When he comes over to your house, close your toilet seats, saying that you need to be careful so that he doesn’t drink from them.
44. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
45. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Tell him you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
46. Ask him how he likes it that he lost to an old man.
47. Get him and Edward in a room together and sing Hot N’ Cold to them. Very loudly and off-key.
48. Just before he phases describe Sam in a dress with as much detail as possible, making sure he stills thinks about it when he becomes a werewolf. Tape the pack's reaction.
49. Remind him that one day the girl he once loved will be his mother-in-law.
50. Tell him that Edward would never have come back in the first place if he hadn’t suggested cliff diving to Bella. Tape his reaction.
