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Fck My Life!3

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Piedodiet ka angliski!

Today, I got an app that talks to me. I've been making it say romantic things to me. I'm forcing my phone to hit on me so I can feel wanted. FML

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

Today, I was babysitting my four year old cousin. It all went well, until I found out he poured my $30 dollar lip gloss on the $4000 dollar couch. I have a lot of babysitting to do to pay it all off. FML

 

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

 

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

 

Today, I held the door open for an old man in a motorized wheelchair. He missed the door, hit my foot, and called me an asshole for getting in his way. FML

 

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

 

Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML

 

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

 

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password.It was his name. FML

 

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

 

Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML

 

Today, I won an academic award during an assembly. Everyone laughed, followed by booing. FML

 

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

 

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

  Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about.Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

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Komentāri 3

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autoru publiski uz sārta padedzināt...! phē

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:D ir labs ...++

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:D plds

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