Šeit būs neliela kolekcija ar mājaslapu dizaineru apkopotiem spoku stāstiem par "savādajiem" klientiem un to vēl savādākajām vēlmēm un iegribām.
Netulkoju, lai nezustu jēga.
P.S. Ceru, ka nav bijs:)
Clients from hell15
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3
Client: “I tried going to your FTP site to send you a PDF, but it says it’s under construction.”
Me: “Hmm, what program are you using?”
Client: “What do you mean?”
Me: “…What program are you using that’s telling you the site is under construction?”
Client: “None. I just clicked on the link in the email and it came up.”
Me: “No. It’s probably opening in a web browser like Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome, or Safari. Can you tell me which program it is?”
Client: “Um…email—email program?”
Email correspondence:
Client: “My internet isn’t working, and I need to check my flight number, and my stocks, etc.”
Me: “What are you emailing me from?”
Client: “What do you mean? A computer obviously.”
(6 minutes pass while I wait for him to put it together)
Client: “Hello? Are you going to help me or not??”
I received this email from a client yesterday:“pleas says me whote transtated name agamalik”
That was the whole thing…Anyone have any guesses!!??
Client: “Hello, I’m looking to make a reservation arriving on the 13th and departing on the 12th.”
Me: “Okay, so you are arriving on the 12th for one night?”
Client: “No, in on the 13th, out on the 12th.”
Me: “So, in on July 13th and out on August 12th?”
Client: “Are you having a bad day?”
Me: “What? No.”
Client: “I think you might be…”
Me: “No, you’re asking me if you can check-out of your room the day before you check-in…”
Client: “I can’t deal with this sort of negativity!”
Me: “Neither can I. Literally!”
Client: “Can you make it so when people land on our website, it’s, like, all black with stars coming out of the screen all whoosh whoosh (does the action) like in that screensaver?”
Me: “…”
Client: “With the music from Star Wars.”
Me: “…”
Client: “And it does that for, like, a minute, then stops and they have to click on one of the stars.”
Me: “Any star?”
Client: “No. No. A specific star that they’ll have to find—make it different every time.”
Me: “…”
Client: “Then when they find the right star, there’s like a massive explosion that the site spins out of (does the action), like in the old Batman series”
Me: “For your company site?”
Client: “Yeah”
Me: “The company that cleans up addicts’ used needles from parks and playgrounds?”
Client: “Yeah”
Me: “No”
Client: “…well, you’re not much fun.”
Client: “My computer is frozen!”
Me: “What screen is it frozen on?”
Client: “The first screen, where it says push ctrl+alt+del to log in. I can move the mouse around, but when I push those buttons it does nothing”
Me: “Is your keyboard plugged in?”
Client: “No, It’s a wireless keyboard”
Me: “Have you changed the batteries?”
Client: “This thing takes batteries!? I thought it ran off satellite power.”
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