Black humor, not everyone gets it 
Black Humor10
51
12
You all know about the Darwin Awards -- It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him while he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
But, you know what life really is? You're born, you suck your mother's tits. You get a little older, you suck your girlfriend's tits. You get married, you suck your wife's tits. That's what life is. Life sucks.
Reklāma
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
Advising the President.
Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
Reklāma
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
The most common form of marriage proposal:
"YOU'RE WHAT!?"
Reklāma
Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
Join the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting, unusual people, and kill them.
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